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the interview - verbally


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INTRODUCTION - Elijah Wood

"Welcome to the Easter Egg; you've found it, congratulations! Uh, I hope we've made it difficult for you. Um, basically this is no exception, uh, to the- the previous Easter Eggs. Yet another comic piece of genuis [laughs].

"Uh, basically this is an interview with Dominic Monaghan and myself (he interviews me). Uh, I could not see him on the day, therefore I didn't necessarily know it was him, uh, because I was doing the interview via satellite; I was in New York City while they - the cast was actually in Berlin and so I couldn't see him, but he could see me. They had a monitor in Berlin that allowed the interviewers to actually see me sitting in New York. Um, and he sat down and posed as a German interviewer and I, uh, I bought it initially, and, uh, you kind of get the idea. It's actually incredibly funny, uh, so I'll let, actually, Hans Jensen, uh, set it up himself."


INTRODUCTION - Hans Jensen

"Welcome. Wilkommen to Kino Das Bang, Bang, Boom, Boom, 1970, Ich Habe Diese Jacke Bekommen, 2004.

"Today I will be interviewing Elijah Woods. Elijah is a incredible actor from Los Angeles, California, born in Idaho... or is it Iowa? Not important! Uh, he is an actor working in the United States of America. Incredible, incredible actor, and I [pauses to smoke cigarette] have been searching for him all my life. He has incredible blue eyes, and this interview has been the most special interaction I have had with an actor in [pauses to think] 17 years.

"So please, sit back, enjoy, wear a smoking jacket and a bib, and [pauses to smoke cigarette] take onboard the genius that is Hans Jensen.

"Good evening."


INTERVIEW BEGINS

Hans Jensen: "Hello, Mr. Woods!"

Elijah Wood: "Hello, Mr. Hans."

Hans Jensen: "Uh, Mr. Jensen, Mr. Jensen."

Elijah Wood: "Mr. Jensen, sorry."

Hans Jensen: "Hello. Are you having a nice day?"

Elijah Wood: "Yes, I am."

Hans Jensen: "I think-"

Elijah Wood: "Yes, it's- it's very early in the morning."

Hans Jensen: "What time is it in Australia?"

Elijah Wood: "Oh, I'm- I'm not in Australia, I'm in, um-"

Hans Jensen: "You're in New Zealand?"

Elijah Wood: "No, I'm in New York."

Hans Jensen: "New York? New- New Amsterdam!"

Elijah Wood: "That's right."

Hans Jensen: "Okay, we begin now, ja?"

Elijah Wood: "Yep."

Hans Jensen: "Mr. Woods, a pleasure to meet you- to have met you."

Elijah Wood: "Tha- thank you."

Hans Jensen: "You're a big fan of music, we hear, and in Germany we have Kraftwerk and also Daft Punk. You- you know this?"

Elijah Wood: "Yes, Kraftwerk started the electronic music movement, and, uh, Daft Punk are brilliant. I love Daft Punk."

Hans Jensen: "Yes, we hear you-"

Elijah Wood: "I actually- I actually worked with, um-"

Hans Jensen: "Excuse me, I interrupt you."

Elijah Wood: "I actually worked with Michel Gondry who directed, um, the 'Around the World' video for Daft Punk."

Hans Jensen: "Yes, she is fantastic director."

Elijah Wood: "Yes, he is."

Hans Jensen: "He, yes, I'm sorry, [mumbling], I'm nervous, um, excuse me. So you- you DJ in New Zealand, Australia, America. You enjoy?"

Elijah Wood: "Y-"

Hans Jensen: "You enjoy music. You're very big fan of music we hear over in Germany."

Elijah Wood: "Yes, I- I- I- I love music. I have done a bit of DJing, I wouldn't- I think DJ purists would probably hate me because I only DJ with- with cds, um-"

Hans Jensen: "I don't- I don't know if anybody can hate you, Mr. Woods, with your-"

Elijah Wood: "Well-"

Hans Jensen: "Your eyes and your- your- your American voice."

Elijah Wood: "Tha- thank you. Um, but I haven't really graduated to vinyl yet, but yeah, I've done a fair bit of DJing. It's, uh, it's good fun."

Hans Jensen: "Do you scratch?"

Elijah Wood: "No."

Hans Jensen: "You mix- you mix music?"

Elijah Wood: "Yes, I mix music live, yes."

Hans Jensen: "So to Frodo, he- on page 720 of, uh, 'The Lord Of The Rings' there is a quote from Frodo: He says, 'In a world filled with mirth and magic, you lose time in yourself.' You- you agree with this comment?"

Elijah Wood: "In a- in a-"

Hans Jensen: "I will repeat- I will repeat it for you."

Elijah Wood: "Please."

Hans Jensen: "'In a world-' You can hear me? You can hear me?"

Elijah Wood: "Yes."

Hans Jensen: "Yes?"

Elijah Wood: "Yep."

Hans Jensen: "'In a world filled with mirth and magic, you lose time in yourself.' You agree with this- this statement from Frodo?"

Elijah Wood: "You lose time within yourself. Um, yeah that's interesting, yeah, I- I think-"

Hans Jensen: "You begin to forget yourself, I think."

Elijah Wood: "Yes, and I think that's exactly what Frodo goes through, um, because ultimately by the end of Frodo's journey, he- he doesn't have-"

Hans Jensen: "It's a- it's a bad question, it's a bad question, forget it."

Elijah Wood: "No, no, no, no, it's not a bad question."

Hans Jensen: "No, forget it, forget it."

Elijah Wood: "It's not a bad question."

Hans Jensen: "Sean Astin, uh, your Hobbit friend, quoted as saying you are a beautiful man, a beautiful man. You- do you- uh, you have a- a comment for Sean? And also there is a, um, how do I say, uh, without being rude, uh, a, um, gay connotation?"

Elijah Wood: [laughs hysterically]

Hans Jensen: "Oh, you laugh, it's funny."

Elijah Wood: [keeps laughing]

Hans Jensen: "No? You agree?"

Elijah Wood: [continues laughing]

Hans Jensen: "He says you are beautiful man, you are beautiful-"

Elijah Wood: "Yeah, well, yeah, there is no gay- there is no gay connotation to that whatsoever."

Hans Jensen: "Sean Astin is gay?"

Elijah Wood: "Uh, no."

Hans Jensen: "Sean Astin is not gay?"

Elijah Wood: "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no."

Hans Jensen: "You have- you have very big eyes. Very big, blue eyes."

Elijah Wood: "Uh-huh."

Hans Jensen: "Do you think this is the reason why you are successful and famous?"

Elijah Wood: "Um..."

Hans Jensen: "Big. Blue."

Elijah Wood: "Yes."

Hans Jensen: "You are famous because of this? Because of your eyes? You- next- the next job you do, you work on a movie called, um, uh, 'Hooligans' about, uh, football hooligans. You play football? You kick- you kick balls?"

Elijah Wood: [laughs hysterically]

Hans Jensen: "Mr. Woods? Mr. Woods?"

Elijah Wood: [keeps laughing]

Hans Jensen: "Do you play football?"

Elijah Wood: [continues laughing]

Hans Jensen: "This is funny to you? I am- I am- I'm upsetting you?"

Elijah Wood: "No."

Hans Jensen: "Am I upsetting you?"

Elijah Wood: "I don't play football."

Hans Jensen: "In the photoshoots you do with Vogue magazine and Cosmopolitan and, uh, Entertainment Weekly, Time magazine, you- your hair changes dramatically, uh, from short to long. Do you wear wigs?"

Elijah Wood: "Uh, no, I do not."

Hans Jensen: "Have you worn wigs?"

Elijah Wood: "No, I have not."

Hans Jensen: "Will you wear wigs?"

Elijah Wood: "Maybe!"

Hans Jensen: "When will you wear wigs?"

Elijah Wood: [laughs hysterically]

Hans Jensen: "Mr. Woods, I will ask you- coming to the end of- I must close soon, but, uh-"

Elijah Wood: "Yes, you must close soon."

Hans Jensen: "I hear you collect sex toys."

Elijah Wood: "No."

Hans Jensen: "No? You do not collect toys?"

Elijah Wood: "All right, there is- there- there's got- this has to be fucking-"

Hans Jensen: "Mr. Woods. Mr. Woods."

Elijah Wood: "Yes."

Hans Jensen: "You have sex with a German woman called Franka Potente. She is famous German actress and you- you drop her."

Elijah Wood: [off camera] "Wait-"

Hans Jensen: "You- you, uh, you finish relationship with her. Why?"

Elijah Wood: "Um, it didn't work out, unfortunately."

Hans Jensen: "How long was she your wife?"

Elijah Wood: "Uh, she was never my wife."

Hans Jensen: "You were engaged to her, though?"

Elijah Wood: "No, no, I was-"

Hans Jensen: "You have baby?"

Elijah Wood: "No."

Hans Jensen: "I hear she has small child, Philippa. She, uh, Flipper is her name."

Elijah Wood: "Oh, no."

Hans Jensen: "You make a movie called 'Flipper.'"

Elijah Wood: "Yes."

Hans Jensen: "Very famous movie. The dolphin is dead. Did you know this?"

Elijah Wood: "Yes. No, I did not know that. That's terrible."

Hans Jensen: "Died in a car accident."

Elijah Wood: [laughs]

Hans Jensen: "Elijah, I must finish now, but I must tell you now-"

Dominic Monaghan: "That it is Dom Monaghan talking to you."

Elijah Wood: "Brilliant. I knew it, you fucker!"

Dominic Monaghan: "How are you, mate?!"

Elijah Wood: "You fucker!"

Dominic Monaghan: [laughing] "How are you!"

Elijah Wood: "I fucking knew it! That was fucking brilliant, you asshole!"

Dominic Monaghan: "How are you, mate? I wish I was there! I wish I was there!"

Elijah Wood: "Oh, I wish you here too! Oh, that's so awesome!"

Dominic Monaghan: "Mate, we got it. We filmed it on the DVD, so you're going to be able to-"

Elijah Wood: "No!"

Dominic Monaghan: [laughing] "Yes!"

Elijah Wood: "Yes! Yes!"

Dominic Monaghan: "I love you, brother, I'll see you soon! Hey, I'll see you in New York."

Elijah Wood: "Oh, I love you. I thank you so much for doing that, that made my day."

Dominic Monaghan: "All right, brother, big kisses. Bye."

Elijah Wood: "All right, Mate. Happy birthday!"

Dominic Monaghan: "Thank you very much! See you, man."

Elijah Wood: "All right." [laughs]

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